Full Circle. Almost. Again.

In the last installment of Black Dog shenanigans here, we left you on the edge of your seats, (just work with me here people), waiting to see how the latest attempt at post-surgical recovery/rehab shenanigans was moving along.  My angel-winged running neighbor had recommended this GUY, who, as it turns out, has proven to be the man.  As in THE Man.  As in, after more than two years since all of this #brokeknee crap started, has actually been able to, ya know – FIX MY SHIT – and get me running kind of like a normal running person does.

elmo dance.gif

I’ll make this short as I know your attention span isn’t any better than mine.

Wait.

What?

Was I saying you something?

Oh yeah.  Running rehab shenanigans.

Anywho, this GUY, not only shoved a finger in that lovely area known as the piriformis, which was immediately followed by a string of cursing the like has never emitted from my goody two shoes yap –

incredulous-owls

Lady, you’re not fooling anyone.  Stop embarrassing yourself.

– but within about 10 seconds had figured out what was actually broken THIS TIME.  Say it along with me kids…

“Since you’ve got a completely shut down broke ass on your right side, your left side has stepped up to the plate, tried to do the work for both sides, and has now decided it’s had enough of this malarky.  It’s sending you the message, with all due respect, to go eff yourself, it’s tapping out.”

Well now.  That’s pretty…..specific.

What’s a frustrated runner idiot girl to do?  Get to work of course.  On BOTH sides of dear ol’ broke ass.

get back to work.jpg

The next few weeks consisted of such insanity as hip and glute strength building, cursing at my new BFF Torture Tony, Elastigirl-like stretching sessions, more cursing, zapping, icing, resistance band exercises I have to determine the validity of or if Torture Tony was just effing with me, more cursing, and oh yes….running.  Remember running?  That bastard of a sport that started all this nonsense in the first place?  That activity over which us runner idiots types have no power to ignore, like a mythological siren’s song?   Yeah, that one.

Jackass.

crying runner.png

After sweating and swearing through four weeks of visits to the GUY and Torture Tony, I was as ready as I could be.  I tried to ignore the knots in my gut that kept telling me…

Too bad you didn’t find these guys a year ago.”

You haven’t run further than 9.5 miles before your leg implodes, you know.”

“You’re an idiot.”

“There’s a big, fat Ghiradelli sea salt dark chocolate bar in the freezer.”

“Could you possibly be any more undertrained for this if you tried?”

“You’re an idiot.”

“You’re going to have so much kinesio tape on your leg you may get mistaken for a mummy.”

“Have I mentioned you’re an idiot?”

Next up, the final chapter.  Thrilled this painful journey is almost over aren’t ya?  It’s okay.  I understand.

resting-bitch-face-dog-3

Seriously. Killing me.

Enjoy the ride.

How long have you given a new type of therapy before giving up on it?  Have you ever had to apologize for swearing at your doctor?  Did you find the therapy got a bit more “intense” after unleashing on him/her?  Do you have cute pet names for him/her?

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Friday Funny

We’re officially in final countdown mode for the Wine and Dine Half Marathon, so what better way to honor this longstanding tradition than by paying homage to that wonderful little creation…..the grape.

ff-wine

Enjoy the ride.

Show of paws – who’s going to be part of the upcoming madness in November?  How many of you have your last long run/taper run this weekend?  Who’s completely befuddled about what time to actually get up that morning with the time change taking place the same day?

It’s Almost Time!

And here at Black Dog Productions, we are SOOOOO EXCITED!!!!!

Whoa.

Whoa.

Wanna know why?  Do ya? Doadoyadoyadoyadoya????  WELL.  Lemme tell ya.  ‘Cuz I know the suspense is just killin’ ya, ain’t it??

In just three more days, yes THREE DAYS, these vertically challenged, dumpy, landing-zone-of-silly-salacious-cellulite legs…..ARE GOING RUNNING!!!!!

hehehe....

hehehe….

I am officially eight weeks post #KneeGate2015, and with the blessing of PT Pam – along with a stern warning to keep the pace slow, and stop if it hurts, (um, we ARE talking about running here Pam), I’ve been given the green light to get back out there and crank out the miles mile.  To start.  I fully plan on having ALL the miles comfortably under my water belt long before the big day night arrives.

Whooo hoooo!!!!

Whooo hoooo!!!!

I even have a plan!  Run.  Run some more.  Then, run some more.  Stellar plan I know.  Actually, with PT Pam’s guidance, a little patience, (okay, maybe a LOT of patience), and listening when the knobbies say, “hey lady, enough already!”, I’m hoping to at least have my mileage base pretty comfortably set by the time it comes to actually getting back to the whole business of, ya know, training.  Of course, I do still have to keep in mind that little pesky fact that I still have to baby the OTHER knee, at least until after Wine and Dine, when #KneeGate2015 Part II will take place.  Because, why go through the fun of wearing a funny hat, compression stockings, and having your loving hubby videotape you as you get stoned on happy juice, just one time, when you can have your very own instant replay?

Huh?

Huh?

So as you head out for your pain-free, non-leadleg, speedy jaunt along your favorite route on Sunday morning, please send some pixie dust in my general direction.  And keep your paws crossed I don’t faceplant before I make it back to my front door.  Thanks.  Appreciate it.

On it.

On it.

Enjoy the ride.

How did you feel the first time back after a running hiatus?  Nervous?  Anxious? Nauseous?  Was it easier or harder than you thought it would be?  Did you hear choirs of angels singing your name?

 

All Roads Lead Back To….

W&D finish line

“I really hope this tape breaks. Otherwise I’ll be REALLY embarrassed.”

Today’s the day I find out if I’ll be able to have a fix-it done to what is turning out to be the most useless joints ever created.

Who?  US?!?

Who? US?!?  Ya THINK?!?!

I’m not asking to be the next Shalane or Kara.  I’m not even asking for the ever-retreating sub 2 hour half finish time.  I’m just asking to be able to run a half marathon – preferably the aforementioned Wine and Dine – relatively pain-free.  Yeah – NOT EVEN ASKING FOR NO PAIN HERE MOTHER NATURE.  I’d just like to be able to get through 13 miles without feeling like somebody is jabbing a giant railroad spike into the side of my kneecap.

Yeah.  NOT cool.

Yeah. NOT cool.

I don’t even know if it would be such a big deal if i hadn’t gotten sucked into the magic that is all things runDisney.  The hype, the costumes, the characters, the parties, the insane entry fees and registration madness – okay, maybe not those last two so much – but I’ve been lucky enough to make some really great friends thanks to a mutual love of running and Disney.  Weird how that place can do that, huh?

Cheesy grins?  Check!

Cheesy grins? Check!

"We are runDisney family!"

“We are runDisney family!”

What IS it about running through Disney parks – or the side streets of Anaheim – that’s just so damn…..magical?  I know I’ve thrown my reasons out there before, (here) and I’d love to hear what makes you sit anxiously at your computers on registration day, heartbeat racing, credit card in sweaty hand, ready to start screaming should the Active link suddenly explode, sending your information out into the great void of runDisney registration badlands.  At the very least, it will give me something interesting to read while I wait, heart rate a-pounding, for The Man #2 to put in an appearance.  Maybe some of that Disney magic will put in an appearance…

Tink!  Over here!

Tink! Over here!

Enjoy the ride.

Do you think Disney is a magical place?  Have you ever had pixie dust land in your eye?  Did it hurt?

Seeing as it’s Magical Mickey Monday, come visit the Purveyors of Pixie Dust over at run.geek.run(disney)!  You just might be surprised that Mondays can be a little less…….Mondayish.

And Just Like That…

Hard to believe it’s already been almost a year since this disaster…

20140111_091931

I can barely walk but I’ll give you a cheesy smile anyway!

Let me start off by saying I had no intention whatsoever of running the Donald Half during Marathon Weekend.  None. Nuttin’. Nada.  But when a running buddy – who I think has never had a bad run in her life – says “hey, there’s a bunch of us running over marathon weekend, come join us”, who am I to say no?  An idiot, that’s who.  Still on a high from a great-for-me Wine and Dine Half, the thought of doing a second runDisney event looked oh-so-appealing.  Um, yeah.  Not so much.  6 miles in, IT bands on the fritz, and an emotional breakdown along whatever freakin’ road I was on, and I was done.

Cooked bird. Complete with timer. Yup, that's me.

Stick a fork in me, I’m done. Complete with timer. Yup, that’s me.

Pissed off, in pain, and ready to knock the teeth out of my knees, does not a good Black Dog combination make on race day.  So. Moving on, I took four months off, jumped out of my skin until this proud moment…

She's baaaaccccckkkkk!!!!

She’s baaaaccccckkkkk!!!!

…and had what I thought was, for the most part, a pretty darn good training cycle for the Wine and Dine Half.  And then…dunh dunh duuuunnnnnhhhhh, (insert dramatic music here)…..

Dammit!

Dammit! Not AGAIN!?!

And if wasn’t for these two nuts…

We roooccckkkk!!!

KELLIE AND NICOLE.  BEST. ROAD CREW. EVER.

…and this one big nut…

Nauseating, aren't we?

Nauseating, aren’t we?

I doubt very much I would have made it across the finish line.

Now here I am, this time on a doctor-imposed running hiatus, and ready to crawl out of my skin. AGAIN.  The question of the hour being where do I go from here?  Try not to think about what The Man might have to say in a couple of months?  Make myself all crazy every time I go to the gym and see everyone else doing everything I want to be doing but it’s against doc’s orders?  Bury my new-found misery in a giant bowl of Moose Tracks?

Yes, please, I'll have another.

Okay, maybe THAT wouldn’t be so bad.

And just like that, we’re at the end of another year.  One that seems to me – at least runningwise – to have had more downs than ups.  At least though, on the personal front, there were plenty more smiles and laughter than there were tears.  New race experiences, new partners in crime, new locations visited, a few new wines tasted – okay a LOT of new wines tasted – and new plans to look forward to in 2015.

2015

And just like that…..

happy-dog

Cheesy Grin. The Sequel.

 

 

Enjoy the ride.

How quickly did 2014 pass for you?  What were the highlights, or lowlights, of your year?

And The Countdown Is On!

Unless you’ve been habitating under a rock for the past few weeks, then you know how amped up I’ve been to bring on my favorite runDisney event EVER.

wine and dine

With the race this weekend, and a little time carved out to, oh – GO TO THE PARKS – and hang out with my girls Kellie ,Nicole and Jenn, this week historically is total chaos in the Black Dog dog house.  And this week is no different.  Last few training runs, Wonder Mutt belly rubs, packing, Wonder Mutt belly rubs, hair appointments, Wonder Mutt belly rubs, nail appointments, Wonder Mutt belly rubs, chiro appointments, Wonder Mutt belly rubs, MRI appointments, Wonder Mutt belly rubs, and perhaps – though I highly doubt it – SLEEP – there won’t be much time for me to sit down and oh, actually BLOG.  So bear with me for the next week or so as the controlled chaos of all things Wine and Dine Half Marathon Madness ramps up to full speed.  Calypso and I will be sure to regale you with Wonder Mutt Wednesday and Friday Funny, and we will be back in full swing sometime next week.  Until then, run strong, run often, and never forget to indulge in multiple belly rubs. And cupcakes.  With Moose Tracks.

And to all those who completed the New York City Marathon yesterday –  especially Michelle, Steph, Danielle, and Nicole, you guys are MY HEROES!

Who says girls can't play???

Who says girls can’t play???

 

Enjoy the ride.

Who’s going to Wine and Dine this weekend?  Racing elsewhere?  What races have you got on tap?  Do you find yourself going crazy in the days leading up to race day?  What do you do to try to relax?

What Do You Do When You Don’t Play Well With Others?

A question I ask myself often.

This is me.

child-play2

Well, not me EXACTLY, but you get the idea.  It’s not that I don’t play well with others, it’s just that I don’t…well…DO well with others.  I just don’t GET people.  Remember this?  Innate shyness and socially challenged is definitely part of my genetic makeup.  From where, I’m not really sure, as the rest of my siblings are pretty good at the whole blahblahblah thing.  I bring this up now for a couple of reasons.

I’m currently following the adventures of Stephanie as she gets ready to take on Part Two of her #marathonpalooza madness.  As she globe-trots from Orlando to Chicago to Orlando to Quantico to Orlando to NYC, back to Orlando for the Wine and Dine, and finally closing out the year with the Space Coast Marathon, I wonder first, how the HELL is she going to survive the insanity, and second, how would I handle going all those places and NOT KNOWING NARY A SOUL.  I can tell you.

Now where's my blankie?

Now where’s my blankie?

The second reason this popped out of my game show dollar machine brain is this: my torture master massage therapist Janet was telling me about this running group she ran into (pun intended) purely by accident a few weeks ago.  Hash House Harriers, an international running group, seems to have made its way to my area.  “Drinkers with a running problem” is their tagline, (how could you not love that?), and a group I could possible relate to.  Except for one little bitty problem.  GROUP.  E-GADS, how I hate that word.

scared Jerry

Aaaagggghhhhh!!!!

Now let there be no mistake.  I’ll talk to just about anyone after a little liquid courage is involved, but that’s not always conducive at the starting line.  Or the finish line if you think about it.  As much as I try, I just don’t have that innate ability to strike up a conversation with another living, breathing human being.  Now put a pooch in my path, and I’ll yak to them all day long.  But put good ol’ homo sapiens in my path, and I put on my best clam imitation.

Who me?  Noooo, you couldn't be talking to ME?

Who me? Noooo, you couldn’t be talking to me!

I really don’t know what the point is that I’m trying to make, except to say, how the heck do you DO it?  How does one strike up a conversation with a perfect stranger and not have them look at you like you’re a complete idiot?  Okay, idiot factor aside here, I constantly wonder at people’s ability to do just that.  I have heard the most hilarious conversations started in of all places, the mile long lines for those god-awful porta-potties at the start of the Wine and Dine every year.  But if you think about it, what better place to hit it off with complete strangers than standing in line, trying not pee your drawers, and actually TALKING about it??  Some places just incite the no shame rule.

Yes, you actually can Google Portapotties at Disney races and get boatloads of pictures.  Disturbing to say the least.

Yes, you actually can Google Portapotties at Disney races and get boatloads of pictures. Disturbing to say the least.

So I guess the best advice I can give myself – and you – is next time we find ourselves flying solo at a race, just hang out in the bathroom lines.  Guess you’ll never know who you may run into.  Hey, Kara and Shalane have to go at some point, don’t they???

karaandshalane

Hi ladies!

 

Enjoy the ride.

Ever find yourself  holding back from joining a group because you’re just too shy?  Did you do anything about it?  Were you glad you did or did you feel like a total schmuck the entire time?