Beat the Blerch? Whoo hoo!!!

Remember this evil little blobborama?

Evil minion.

Evil minion.

Well, let me tell ya, the man responsible for putting a name to this evil little dude, has found a way to beat this blobbo into submission.  On September 20 and 21, Matthew Inman, Mr. Oatmeal himself, has inspired a race weekend, including options to run either a 10k, half, or full marathon.  As soon as news of the races hit the web, Blerch fans went wild. Credit cards were flying out of wallets, mouses were being clicked at the speed of light, and the hungry little Blerch started rubbing his twiggy little hands together, hungry for a whole new herd of victims.  But unlike many a disappointed runDisney fan, who decided to think about hitting the register button, only to end up beating their head against the wall in entry denial angst, Mr. Oatmeal decided to add a virtual Blerch race option. Oh, happy day!

funny dog face

This is my happy face.

You know where this is going, right?  You betcha!  This Black Dog jumped on that register button faster than the Wonder Mutt can inhale a biscuit.  And since I conveniently have a half marathon distance plugged into my Wine and Dine training plan, why not just make it an easy peasy race pace day?  And check out the swag!

Stickers and medals and stress balls, oh my!

Stickers and medals and stress balls,   oh my!

Since I’m starting to really get into this whole virtual racing thing, what better way to add to the bling collection?  And really, who wouldn’t want have the oh-so-coveted Blerch monster medal hanging on their medal rack?  Hello awesome bling sweetness!  I’m so excited I could just, well….

Exhibit A.

I don’t know what happened.  She was running around screaming about the Blerch and BAM!

So if you feel like being one of the cool Beat The Blerch kids, sign up for one of the virtual races here.  Go.  Now. Go!  It’s the only way we can beat this little sucker into submission.

i-believe-in-the-blerch

Enjoy the ride.

Have you ever done a virtual race?

Beware the Blerch…

Yeah. The Blerch. THIS guy…

Evil minion.

Evil minion.

Up until a week ago, I knew the Blerch, just not by his proper, baptismal name,  Now I know who that little sh*t really is.

i-believe-in-the-blerch

Doesn’t matter if you run, bike, swim, or make an Olympic event out of getting off your dupa and dragging it to the fridge for a gallon cup of Moose Tracks ice cream, this evil little beast is constantly flitting around, slyly guiding your ice cream scoop-laden hand into the carton for yet ANOTHER scoop of creamy delishessnessess(?) He is the epitome of all things evil about physical fitness – tired, sore, hungry, lazy, unmotivated, smelly, and poopy.  Not unlike certain days I have had.

collapsed1

Yup. Been there. Done that.

It only took the somewhat twisted genius of Matt at TheOatmeal.com to put a name to the little blob of evil wretchedness-ess.  (Yeah, this little sh*t deserves an extra -ess).  The Blerch, made his appearance on Facebook last week, much to the chagrin of us who have known about him and his evil plan for world dominance by taking over everyone’s metabolism and turning it into the speed of a slug schmoozing through a puddle of peanut butter.  Athletes everywhere have been dreading rejoicing over his newfound rock star status, as they can now proudly say, ” I knew that little sh*t back when…”.

See Exhibit A.

Exhibit A.

Exhibit A.

So for those of you who have been experiencing the fear of the unknown, you can now rest assured that sick feeling way down in your gut isn’t necessarily indigestion or the overwhelming urge to pull off into the trees at Mile 13 and poop.  It’s just the Blerch.  And he’s right behind you.  Coming to get you.  Whatever you do…..don’t……turn……around…..

Boo.

Boo.

 Enjoy the ride.

Have you been attacked by the Blerch?  What did you do to survive and live to tell about it?