Friday Funny – The Princess Edition

As I get ready to hit the road and head on up to Disney World as an official Princess spectator, I thought it only appropriate to pay homage to all princesses – both of the Disney persuasion and otherwise – the best way I know how….with just a little bit of royal snarkiness.

FF Grumpy cat princess animals pics

 

Enjoy the ride.

Good luck to everyone running this weekend!  Be sure to say hi on your way past me Sunday morning.  I’ll be the one with a bottle of tequila in my paws, trying to stay warm.  JUST KIDDING DISNEY POLICE.  JUST KIDDING…..

Wonder Mutt Wednesday

In honor of the members of Team Can-Am, and all the other princesses, (and their princes), on their way to the most Magical Place on Earth for Princess Weekend…..

WMW are we there yet

ARE WE THERE YET???

 

Enjoy the ride.

IF I can get my dupa to the entrance of Epcot on Sunday morning, (please be with me road closure traffic gods) make sure you say hi!  I’ll be the one with the funny race signs.  hehehe…..

Race Etiquette – Or How Not To Run With Your Head Up Your Butt

As we officially kick off the race season – or at least the one that REALLY matters, (you know what I’m talking about)…

rundisney

…I think it would only be responsible to cover the rules of the road.  Not that I could ever be mistaken for responsible.  Just sayin’.  I do, however, like to NOT be the knucklehead who ends up running into someone, stops suddenly and causes a pileup, or hawks a loogie, (and yes, I had to look up how to spell loogie), and ends up having it land on the poor sap unlucky enough to be running behind or next to me.

run niceCatchy title, ain’t it?

So once again I ventured into the archives of the runner’s holy grail – Runner’s World magazine – to find what words of wisdom awaited my ever inquisitive dollar machine brain.  I am glad to report I have yet to violate most of the proper protocols.  (Note I said MOST.)  Whether or not I decide to change those current statistics is still up for debate.  However, I really don’t want turn into THAT runner.  Unless of course…

zombies tripping

Then all bets are off.  Seriously.  I will even run over Jon Bon Jovi himself.  Sorry my love, that’s just the way it goes.

bon jovi crutches

My bad.

Now this list could get pretty lengthy.  But my attention span is that of a two year-old’s, so I’m just going to hit the highlights.  Feel free to chime in at any time.  Really.  Please.  Then I don’t have to type as much.

1. Race in the official race shirt:  If you’re a chafer, probably not the smartest move, especially if it’s of the dreaded cotton persuasion.  Plus being the somewhat superstitious Black Dog that I am, I’m not screwing with any bad race juju and claiming bragging rights before I cross the finish line.  And as far as those “I Did It” shirts at Disney races?  Hey! runDisney!  I’ll bet if you have a couple of booths of them AT the finish line, instead of the expos, you’ll make even more gazillions than you already do.  Just a thought.

2. Bandit a race:  At the risk of annoying Nike, JUST DON’T DO IT. Rude, obnoxious, and NOT funny.  Qualifies you for Super Loser Status.  Which is WAY worse than normal loser status.  Way, way worse.  Really way worse.

loser-graphic

3. Move the heck over. PLEASE.:  Now I know you and your posse are all psyched up to compete.  You’ve put in the hours, the mileage, spent hours putting together some amazeballs costumes, and you are ready to rock.  Awesome.  But for the love of Wonder Mutt, please, please, PLEASE do not take up the entire frog-flippin’ road!  If you’re walking, keep it to two, or at the MOST three, people across.  Any wider than that and runners coming up behind you have to start imitating a pinball.  Which may not be that big a deal to you, but when you have to constantly keep moving side to side, as opposed to forward, you end up adding unnecessary mileage and increase your risk for injury.  And a grumpy runner does not a fun race make. For ANYONE.

grumpy grumpy cat

4.  Get pissy with slower runners:  This is simple.  GET OVER IT.  We’re not all there to try to cross the finish line first, win an age group award, or even set a PR.  Some of us are there to just – dare I say it – HAVE FUN.  Don’t like it?  Deal with it.  In a race with 14,999 other runners, it’s not all about you.  Unless you’re short and have really big ears.  Then it IS all about you.  I defer to thee on whose turf it is.

runner Mickey

Yes Mickey. It IS all about you. And I wouldn’t have it any other way.

5.  Disposal of bodily fluids:  Always my favorite.  I always find this aspect of races the most amusing, if not the most disgusting.  But what can you do?  We’re all human, right?  Well, with the exception of THAT guy who wins every Disney race ever.  He’s just a freak of nature or something alien, I’m sure.  However, for the rest of us run of the mill humans, spit, snot rockets, and gaseous emissions, are all just part of the game.  In instances of the dire need to expel said substances, I would simply offer two very basic pieces of advice.  1. Check wind direction, and b. check proximity to next closest victim runner.  Preferably BEFORE expelling said snot, phlegm, or gas.  Your consideration will be greatly appreciated.  GREATLY.  MUCHO GREATLY.  Trust me.

Dear Runner Dude, thank you for not farting when I was directly downwind of you.

Dear Runner Dude, thank you for not farting when I was directly downwind of you.

So as we head into what I know will be yet another glorious racing season, both at Disney and elsewhere, (I know, I know, WHY would you run anywhere else?), please keep these few guidelines in mind.  Especially when it comes to making your menu choices prior to start time.  A lunch of beans in the Mexico pavilion the afternoon of the Wine and Dine will not be appreciated.  Trust me.

shepherd roll

Dude! REALLY?!?

 

Enjoy the ride.

What advice would you offer a newbie racer?  What’s the worst thing that’s ever happened to you during a race?

stink face cat

Here We Go Again!

The madness is in full swing…

Dopey Challenge

As I was sitting at work last week on registration day for WDW Marathon Weekend, I’d check in every so often to see what was happening.  Not that I was totally surprised at how quickly everything sold out, but, well, hot damn!  When I decided to run the Half last year, it was maybe a month after registration opened and at that time it was about 80% full.  This year, 80% hit about 16 hours after it opened.  If you waited even one day to pull the trigger, you were pretty much out of luck.  As I write this, the only open races left are the full and the Goofy.  Any bets on how long before those two sell out?

Garsh!  The people are crazeee!!!!!

Garsh! The people are crazeee!!!!!

All this runDisney madness got me thinking – has the whole running at Disney thing gotten TOO popular?  My first half marathon was run along the beach in Fort Lauderdale seven years ago.  Even in the poopiest of weather, it was still a great time.  I don’t even remember what we paid for an entry fee or how far ahead of time registration had opened.  All we cared about was it was nearby and we had family cheering us on.  With the ever-growing popularity of the runDisney events, just being able to get onto the Active website has become an event in itself.  As soon as I saw when registration day would be for the Wine and Dine this year, I marked it on the calendar, put an alert on my phone, and set a reminder on my Outlook.  I was lucky enough to be sitting at my desk when noontime rolled around and was able to get it done within 15 minutes.  Score Black Dog!

Dadadadada.

Dadadadada.

BUT – what if I wasn’t sure if I would be ready?  What if this would be my first half and I was just too nervous to make a decision at game time?  If I had waited another day and half to pull the trigger, I would have been poop out of luck.  How many people waited, couldn’t get in, and ended up like this?

Heavy sigh...

Heavy sigh…

Disney is supposed to a magical place where you can make all your dreams come true, right?  How much did it suck to be one of those who were all cranked up to register and run in the most Magical Place on Earth, just to have their hopes dashed like so much confetti in a magical parade?

I don’t know if there’s a better way to make getting into a runDisney event a little more palatable for the everyday joe who doesn’t have their dupa parked in front of a computer at puck drop. (Sick of my sports analogies yet?)  I think over the past two years I’ve just gotten lucky with a combination of good timing and lots of mouse clicker finger exercises.  But I really DO feel bad for those who want so badly to get in and just can’t make it happen.

There, there now.  There's always next year.

There, there now. There’s always next year.

Disney seems to occasionally be open to suggestions from runners and guests alike.  It’ll be interesting to see if they make any changes to their registration process.  Perhaps adding so many races that people will have ample opportunity to pick which one they want may help alleviate some of the insanity.  I certainly wouldn’t object to the weekly monthly 5k or even better 10k race.  Mickey knows there aren’t nearly enough of those around.

I’m really curious to hear what you think would make getting into these events any easier, especially from all you team runDisney, WISH’ers, and Disney Pacebook runners out there.  I’ve seen a lot of the comments you’ve voiced in the past about different race aspects and there have been some really great ideas thrown out into the great internet void.  Who knows? Maybe one of you will have that PERFECT idea that makes every Disney runner freak like me perfectly happy with the whole process. Or not.  But we can dream can’t we??

shooting star

 Enjoy the ride.

What would you do to improve the chances or people getting into runDisney events?  Or would you change anything?