And We’re Off! Part 3

Or…

Dear God, Please Make It Stop.

praying otter

pleasepleasepleaseplease

Since I know you’ve been just salivating for more details of the Black Dog Surgery Shenanigans (here and here), let me allay your fears of not knowing how this cliffhanger ends.  Well, you kind of already do, but let’s just pretend I’m not really telling you this.  Yet.  I think.  Damn, now I’m confused.  Hmmmmm……

Anywho, when we left off last week, Nurse Claire had hooked me up to the happy juice and the hubby was making fun of my comparing it to shots of tequila.  (Made TOTAL sense to me.)  So now that the feelings of anesthesia-anxiety had quite dissipated,  I was pretty much up for whatever came next.  I do however, remember telling the hubs to make sure he took care of the furball.  You know.  Just in case Mama Dawg didn’t make it out alive.

Worried Calypso1

You’re leaving me with HIM?!? He doesn’t rub my belly every night Mom!!!!

After I don’t know how long, because, you know – happy juice – Nurse Nancy came in to whisk me away to the OR.  It was like getting wheeled into the Overlook Hotel.  Minus the creepy dead twins.  And the Big Wheel.  I think.  Happy juice, remember?

overlook

After what seemed like miles, Nurse Nancy finally turned into the suite and all I could think of was, “Look at all those friggin’ machines!  Where the heck is the guy gonna stand to cut me open?  THEY’RE ALL ON THAT SIDE OF THE TABLE!”  And then I happened to notice the anesthesia guy.  (Who just may or may not have been a total cutie patootie.  I’m leaning towards total hottie.  But then again, how hot can one be in one of those ridiculous hats?)

So after scooting off the bed and onto the table, cutie patootie threw an oxygen mask on my face, walked over to my IV, and said “this is what’s going to put you to sleep, okay?”  I got as far as saying the OH part of okay, and was out.  And I mean OUT.  Out as in I don’t think I’ve ever slept that great in my life.  No dreams, no nightmares, just good old dead OUT.  Not unlike this guy!

zzzzzz,zzzzzz,zzzzzz

zzzzzz,zzzzzz,zzzzzz

The weird thing about going out like that, is you wake up just as fast.  All of a sudden, I open my eyes, see a friendly face working on a computer next to my bed, and quickly deduce I am now in Recovery.  (Freaking brilliant aren’t I?)  Let me tell ya, the recovery unit in that hospital is Union Station at rush hour crazy.   I think it was only about an hour after Nurse Nancy had come to get me, so The Man #2 had certainly cranked through his portion of the program, and now I was happily back in Happy Juice Land.  All I remember is I kept lifting the blanket to see this huge dressing on my leg.  I just couldn’t comprehend the fact the surgery was already done and over with.  I must have had a giant goofy grin on my face and said something typically ridiculous, because I soon had not only my recovery nurse, but the one in the next curtain, laughing hysterically.  Because that is WHAT I DO.

FUNNY-FUN-FUN.COM

A fast hang time in recovery, and back to post-op we go.  Back to the anxiously awaiting hubby. (Not so much. Man found himself a tap-room across the street.  I would’ve been seriously disappointed had he not).  A pair of crutches and a comical attempt at trying to get my street clothes back on later, and I was OUTTA THERE.  Being the tough chick that I am – okay, maybe it was just the leftover happy juice talking – I volunteered to take the stairs.  One look from Nurse Lindsay, followed by a “yeah, don’t think so girl”, and into a wheelchair I go.  The lobby was only one floor down but let me tell ya, happy juice and elevators can be a lot of friggin’ fun.  A LOT.

wheeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!

wheeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!

So endeth the tale of Black Dog’s Surgery Shenanigans.  My only conundrum is I really hope I didn’t say anything too embarrassing to the cutie patootie anesthesia guy when I was out…

Up next: Black Dog Recovery Shenanigans.  Stay tuned!  You know you wanna!

 

Enjoy the ride.

Let’s hear them!  I know somebody out there has a funny happy juice/anesthesia/recovery room story.  Divulge state secrets while you were out?  Unknowingly flirt with any surgical team cutie patooties?  Wake up with a strange phone number on your dressing?  C’mon….you know you wanna tell me!

What To Do, What To Do

I know I owe you guys an update on the soap opera that has become my knee injury – which I know you’ve just been SO excited to find out about, right? NOT – but if we’re gonna roll with that story, then I might as well regale you with the total excitement of the situation.  You.  In the back.  Quit snoring.  This is cool stuff.

MRI 1

See? Cool stuff. I know, I know….not so much.

Hang on anyway, because I’m going to need your input here.

Remember when The Man sent me for MRI #2?  In case you’re hung over and not exactly comprehending stuff today, that’s what you see here.  Cool stuff, right?  I THINK SO.  Anywho, no big surprise, I’ve got chondromalacia in this knee too.  YEAH, NO KIDDING.  *As a side note, the guy who was scanning me, (hehehe, no worries, hubs was standing right next to him while I was getting scanned), noticed that I have a hole in my shin bone (see arrow).  While sadly, that isn’t the cause of all my troubles, I think it’s a neat little bit of useless trivia.

“I’ll take useless trivia for $800 Alex.”

“For $800.  What would you find if you performed an MRI on Black Dog’s right knee?”

Jeopardy

Yes, one day Black Dog parts will make it to national television.

Where was I again?  Oh yeah, The Man.  So he calls me a few days after the scan, tells me about the chono, chrondo, WHATEVER it is I’ve got going on in there, and tells me he’s going to have me see his partner – from here on out known as The Man #2 – for a consult and possible – wait for it – “arthroscopic debridement.”  Sounds pretty damn impressive, doesn’t it?  I THINK SO.

elmo

“Ooooooohhhhh, impressive.”

So while I wait to go see The Man #2, I have a quandry on my hands.  My personal voices of reason – Kellie, Nicole, Lisa, and Rae – have already weighed in and told me I was out of my mind to even THINK about running again.  Hubs and I see it this way – how much more damage can I do getting a couple of runs in over the next couple of weeks, since not running at all since November hasn’t done squat to make things any better?  Now, I’m not talking heading out for any 10 milers, just a couple of easy 2-3 mile jaunts.  Such is my current conundrum.

thinking baby

Canun, conan, co what???

This is where you come in.  Do I keep on faking it on a bike, or do I dust off the Brooks and go back to my happy place, even if it is only temporarily?  (We’re only talking until my next appointment in about a week, when we find out about possible surgery).  I’m curious to see what you all think.  And also see how fast I can actually go when I have to run away from my own personal Jiminy Crickets when they come screaming after me – right ladies?

Princesses1

 

Enjoy the ride.

Let me know where you weigh in on the debate – stick to the bike or hit the road?  Do you think I’d be an idiot to satisfy my severely depleted mileage addiction?  Let’s hear it!

You Don’t Have To Run To Be A Princess

But it sure comes in handy if you do.

Tiara

For the past couple of months, I had been scheming to make the trip north to cheer on my fellow #Chewsday Chicas – Kellie, Lisa, and Nicole – as they ran the final leg of the Glass Slipper Challenge aka the Princess Half Marathon, last weekend.  I’ve never gone to Disney as just a race spectator, and in all honesty, I really wasn’t sure how I was going to feel about it once I got there, seeing as how running is still off-limits for me.  But the prospect of seeing my Wine and Dine Support Crew again, and FINALLY getting to meet the Can portion of Team Can-Am, was enough to bring the excitement level up considerably.

After spending a couple of nights putting a LOT of effort into designing the perfect race signs for each of my chicas, and scouring the store aisles for the perfect post-race recovery snacks, I was ready to hit the road.  Confession:  I was in bed the night before the race by 8pm and spent the entirety of the evening constantly waking up due to the typical pre-race nightmare of sleeping through my alarm.  Ironically, even though I set the alarm for 0430 hours Sunday morning, it NEVER WENT OFF.  Thank goodness the hubby got up to go to the bathroom moments later and told me to get my dupa up, otherwise I would’ve ended up in total meltdown status.

"Whaddya mean I overslept?!?"

“Whaddya mean I overslept?!?”

Let’s just take a quick side trip here: we were staying with friends who live about a half hour from Disney.  The quickest way to get to Disney is through no-man’s land.  Literally.  I drove in on a highway with no lights, no civilization, and no other traffic.  I kept waiting for some freaky being from one of those creepy horror movies to jump out in front of me, sending my truck off the embankment, only to wake up in the evil clutches of some psychopathic nutcase like in the movie Saw.  I know.  I have a severely overactive brain at 5 o’clock in the morning when I don’t know where I’m going and the DAMN GPS CAN’T FIND THE DAMN SATELLITE.

Happily though – because of course, all things end happily where Disney is concerned – I FINALLY made it to the finish line, signs and snacks in hand, with plenty of time to spare. I was lucky enough to snag a pretty sweet spot about 200 yards before the finish line, and was able to watch as Tink – I mean Lauren – crossed the finish line at the 1:22 mark.  WOW.  (I had a picture, but she was so fast, she was nothing but a blur.  Not really, but it sounded good.  More like operator error.)

It wasn’t much later though when Princess Lisa kicked some serious dupa and crossed the finish line with a big smile on her face.  (Actually, she was trying not to puke, but it’s my blog and I can write what I want.)  Somehow, she did manage to find me in the sardine can of bodies I ended up in the middle of, and we were able to preserve the moment for posterity.  Lucky you.

Forgot my cool shades but remembered the tiara!

Forgot my cool shades but remembered the tiara!

One thing I have found is I may have a big yap, but my voice just does not carry.  I was screaming my head off for Lisa when I saw her run by, but there was no way she could hear me.  (Note to self: purchase a megaphone for future spectating opportunities.  Unless you have one I can borrow.  Thanks.)

Not long after, Princesses Kellie and Nicole crossed the finish line and really DID have smiles on their faces.  (However, I suspiciously think that was due more to the prospect of soon ingesting the gummy bears and pretzel crisps I had in my possession, than actually finishing the race.)

Whatever the reason, 90% of Team Can-Am was together, (again), with the exception of Rae, (well, we DID have flat Rae with us. See?)  And just look at those great race signs!

Princesses1

All in all, psychopathic drive through no-man’s land aside, spectating the Princess Half Marathon was a blast, especially knowing that my girls were out there on the course having a great time – minus the puke factor of course.  I would highly recommend that if you have someone special running any race – Disney or otherwise – get your dupa out there and cheer them on!  Even if they don’t see/hear you, you can still obtain hero status.  It’s all in the post race snack choices.  Who knew.

Hero worthy.

Hero material.  Seriously.

 

Enjoy the ride.

Have you ever played race spectator?  Did you provide inspirational signs and snacks?  Anyone puke on your shoes?  

And The Results Are…..

….not in.

Yeah…..soooooo……remember when I said I was dreading what The Man was going to tell me when I went back to see him about my knees?  Well, I’m still not really sure exactly WHAT happened.

Huh?

Yeah, that was me.  Pigtails and all.

I think a lot of this is my own fault.  I’ve had right knee issues for SO long that I almost don’t remember what it’s like to NOT have pain.  After Wine and Dine, when pain suddenly showed up in the LEFT knee, I figured that was the one I better bring up first when I went in for my appointment.  Now, I DID make sure to tell The Man that both these freakin’ things have been a pain in my dupa – so to speak – but the left knee pain was a newer occurrence.

After doing exactly what he told me to do – and pretty much doing nothing that he said I shouldn’t, the left knee is feeling decent.  Not perfect, but decent.  The original pain in the ass right one though, well, let’s just say I am NOT a happy Black Dog.  Or Nemo either.

mad nemo

I am one pissed off clownfish.  No joke.

After a lot of blahblahblahblahblahblah, I just busted out with a I HAVE A HALF MARATHON IN NOVEMBER.  WHAT THE FRIG DO I HAVE TO DO TO BE READY FOR IT??!!  I knew I was in trouble when I was pretty much answered with the same look as Boo.  Then things got interesting when I heard I may be able to run 2-3 miles for the rest of my life.  ‘Scuse me?  What was that?  2-3 MILES???  ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR EVER-LOW-MILEAGE MIND?!?  I hate to point out the obvious Doc, but 2-3 miles ain’t 13.1.  Or 26.2.  DUH.  I think that was about the time I busted out the S word – no, the OTHER S word – and he knew I was no longer riding the Downtown Train on the Conservative Treatment Line.  Thanks Doc, but this girl is derailing this ride.  With glee.

Heeeeeere's anesthesia!

Heeeeeere’s anesthesia!

Not just yet though.  First, it’s a return trip to MRI Land to check for a meniscus tear – which, let’s face it, we’re 99.9% is NOT the case.  Simply because that would be too simple a fix.  And I never do ANYTHING simple.  EVER.  Then it’s see what the radiologist thinks, see what The Man thinks, and then possibly see what The Man’s partner thinks.  There was mention of possible microfracture surgery, but I’m pretty sure there’s another, much less scary sounding option out there.  Which I only mention as another runDisney fan-friend of mine had said alternate surgery done and was back to running after eight weeks.  And get this – he had THE SAME EXACT DIAGNOSIS AS ME.  Plus, why should my sister be the only chick in this family with bionic parts?

Whaaaatttttt?????

Whaaaatttttt?????

So, as the saying goes, we shall see.  MRI Part Two is tomorrow, and we should have the radiology report sometime next week.  Then, who knows.  Stay tuned.  This could get quite interesting.  Or ugly.  Or just plain downright hilarious when I really go off the ledge.  Jumping.  And screaming hysterically.  Wearing a cape.  Because I will just have to disagree with Miz Edna this time around.

Yes, Edna, yes.  Capes.

Yes, Edna, yes. Capes it shall be.

Enjoy the ride.

Have you had to make a decision about surgery that you weren’t 100% positive about?  How did it work out?  Any regrets?  Did you say anything embarrassing while you were knocked out?  What was it??  Tell me!!!  I won’t tell anyone, I swear!

 

And The Ban Plays On

Yes, ban.  Not band.

We be jammin'!

We be jammin’!

It came as no surprise that Rita Jeptoo was banned from professional running.  It wasn’t even that surprising that Athletics Kenya banned her from competing for only three years.  I mean really.  Why would they ban one of their biggest cash cows for life?

Ha ha, fooled ya!

Ha ha, fooled ya!

Nothing is more disheartening than when you find out one of your biggest athletic heroes is a cheat.  Call it egg on your face or crap on your shoes.  You feel like an idiot.  Trust me, been there, felt that.

Ha, ha!  Fooled you too.

Ha, ha! Fooled you too.

What drives these idiots – yes, I did say IDIOTS – to cheat?  Money? Fame? Ego?  Combination of all three?  Who knows, or maybe more importantly, who cares?  I could go on an epic rant about how much these so-called “athletes” have disappointed, and just plain angered me, but what would be the point?  To give them even a few more moments of my time?  Nah, don’t think so.  What’s most upsetting about this behavior is this – people looked up to them, admired them, RESPECTED them.  And they took that respect and admiration and tossed it in the trash, giving it no more thought than a piece of garbage.

unimportant

So let the Kenyans slap Jeptoo on the wrist.  Let Armstrong compete in something other than cycling.  WHATEVER.  I know who the real athletes are.  The ones who get up at oh-dark-thirty to get their training in before dealing with the little ones.  Or the ones who pass up a weekend getaway to get their 20-miler in before their first marathon.  And the ones who stop within sight of the finish line, just to go back and help an injured competitor.  Those are sports true athletes.

We got you.

We got you.

So to everyone out there who tries their best – even if it means best gets you across that finish line last – YOU are the real heroes.  No matter what the clock says, the scale tells you, or the size tag on your pants reads, be proud of yourself.  You get out there and do what you need to do every day, using only what Mother Nature gave you.  And if that’s good enough for you, that’s more than enough for me.  Be proud of yourself and what you are capable of achieving.  Because in comparison to these “professional athletes”, you truly ARE a champion.

 

Enjoy the ride.

What do you think about all this doping nonsense?  Does it lower your opinion about professional athletes?  What do you think drives these people to cheat?

Why Does Running Always Get A Bad Rap?

Yep.  Pretty much.

Yep. Pretty much.

Remember those days back in junior high basketball practice?  Countless hours of running back and forth between foul lines and center court, over and over and over and over again.  And over.  And over.  Get the idea?

Just. Shoot. Me.

Been there buddy.  Been there.

As I sit here watching NFL playoff action, it occurs to me – and I know nothing of what these guys do in practice – they must spend hours running up and down that field more times than they can count.  Soccer, hockey, baseball, pick your sport.  It seems like every other sport really does regard running as punishment.  Now I know most of these sports don’t utilize distance running, but probably more interval-style punishment.  But I think if you asked Walter Payton or Victor Cruz to go for a nice easy 10-miler, I imagine they’d probably look at you with an expression not unlike this.

Say whaaaaaaat?

Say whaaaaaaat?

I suppose just about everyone, even seasoned runners, view speed work as a necessary evil if they want to see any kind of decrease in pace.  It’s been so long since I’ve run, (2 months, 3 days, 21 hours, and 47 minutes – not that I’m counting or anything), that I only have hazy memories of lung-busting, star-seeing, hallucination-creating, visions-of-grandeur-inducing, sprint work.  Even though I hated speed work days, it always more of a love-hate relationship.

Love_Hate_job_crop380w

The road I’d rather not travel….

Whether it’s hills, LSD’s, speed work, or tempo runs, if running is not your sport of choice, it’s all ugly and highly detested.  Just ask any typical teenager who decides to get mom and dad off their back about lazing around on the couch all day by taking up something as non-sweat inducing as curling, (no offense Lisa!).

Best. Pants. Ever.

Best. Pants. Ever.

Really, when you get right down to it, 99% of the world’s sports incorporate running to some degree.  I mean really, how silly would it be if baseball players had to walk the bases?  Oh, wait a minute…..

HATE when that happens.

Hate when that happens.

So the next time you hear another athlete whining about having to run during practice, just smile and say nothing.  Let them think their sport is so much more demanding than yours.  You know who the tougher bad ass is.  And so do we.

badass runner

 

Enjoy the ride.

Why do you think some athletes hate running so much?  Is it the physical demands or how it can put even the strongest of athletes on a level playing field with an everyday runner?  Is it bad that I just can’t stop laughing at the Norwegian National Curling Team’s plaid pants??

So Proud To Be A Runner. And Proud Of You!

Nothing makes me more happy and proud than when I read about my fellow Disney runners accomplishments.  Like JENN, who just ran her VERY FIRST MARATHON this weekend!  The MARINE CORPS MARATHON!  Yeah, THAT Marine Corps Marathon!!

Jenn

Celebratory cupcakes for all!!

And STEPH, who cranked out – or maybe more appropriately “gimped” out – her second marathon in the past two weeks.  Yes, that’s right, TWO WEEKS!  At the MARINE CORPS MARATHON!

Steph

Are you getting the whole runner/cupcake thing yet??

And then there’s my sister Accountabilibuddy KELLIE, who not only finished a 5k/Half Marathon Challenge, but ran another three miles AFTER finishing to get her Goofy training miles in.  ROCKSTAR!

I'm bad and I know it!!

I OWN this race!!

Over the past couple of years, I’ve lost track of the number of smiles that have crossed my face, and the happy tears I’ve cried, as I’ve watched/read/tracked runners from all over the world complete an unbelievable accomplishment.  From Meb’s amazing victory in Boston and reclaiming both the city – and the race – back from the cowardly acts of a couple of misguided idiots, to a girl on crutches crossing the finishing line at Sunday’s MCM, it all hits me right in the heart.  I know it’s something many people don’t understand, especially those who don’t run.  But for those of us who do, and know first hand about the aches, pains, mental games we play with ourselves just to get through the miles, the good luck charms we carry with us, or even maybe just a prayer that is whispered before a race start, it all makes total sense.  It may not be about a victory, and age group award, or even a little trophy.  It’s about more than that.  SO much more than that.

bigger pic

It’s about the ability to push our body to its limit.  It’s about friendships, old and new.  It’s about that indescribable feeling you get when you hit that pace you’ve been shooting for for weeks/months/YEARS even.  It’s about finally fitting into those skinny jeans that were hiding in the back of the closet.  It’s about looking at yourself in the mirror and being proud of the person looking back at you.  Mostly – I think anyway – it’s about the feeling of accomplishment.

accomplishment

Whether it was taking that first step out the door, throwing that bag of potato chips in the trash, or finishing your first triathlon, there’s not a damn thing wrong in being proud of yourself.  Go ahead, brag a little.  Or a lot!  Whatever it is that you accomplished, be proud of it!  Because I can guarantee you, there’s someone else out there who’s proud of you too.  And if you can’t think of anyone, I’ll be proud for you. Because that’s what runners do.  That is WHO WE ARE.

Whoo hoo!!

Nice job!

 

Enjoy the ride.

What’s the one thing you’ve ever done that made you proud?  Do you ever get weepy when you see what happens at a finish line?  What’s the most memorable athletic moment you’ve ever been a part of or seen?

What Do YOU Consider Sexy?

I’m thinking this is National Week of Epiphanies.

In a vain attempt to catch up with 18 pages of blogs, I came across this one yesterday from Tina at A Marathon and A Sprint.  By the time I was done reading it, I felt like Jennifer Garner needed to run for President. (Make sure you go and check out the video Tina posted.  I’m too techno-challenged to figure out how to do it myself.)  As all good literary pieces should do, it stuck with me.  And as I was trucking my dupa home yesterday mid run – thank you very much Mr. Thunder and Lightning Storm – it made me wonder.  Why do we have such differing opinions on what constitutes physical beauty?

Audrey Hepburn

The hubs and I couldn’t be further apart on this subject.  He likes curves and “thickness”.  I always argue the point that if he ever called a woman thick, more likely than not it would result in a smack upside his head.  Some guys become total idiots in the mere presence of Victoria Secret model-like beauty, whereas the hubs thinks they’re all too skinny and doesn’t find them attractive at all.  Yet who’s fighting me for the catalog when it shows up in the mail or wants to watch the annual VS Fashion Show?  (They really ARE their own worst enemies.)  And do you really think certain NFL quarterbacks would have EVER landed their supermodel wives if they were just average, off the street Joe Schmoes?  Doubt it.

Yeaaahhhhh. Don't think so.

Yeaaahhhhh. Don’t think so.

Show this picture to any average guy and watch what happens.  And men wonder why women are so super self-conscious about their looks?!?

I have a friend that I’ve known since first grade.  This friend HATED going to gym class.  Now, she has numerous races, fitness, and body building competitions on her resume,  She now owns a gym and busts her butt to keep in shape.  This past weekend, she competed in a body building competition.  Just that fact that she’s 45 and looks the way she does is amazing to me.  She ended up not placing and posted on Facebook that she needed to get back to work and get bigger.  BIGGER.  She’s a GIRL.  Since when does the “ideal” look of a fit woman include entering freaky big status?   I’ve been around/worked in the fitness industry off and on for years.  I’ve seen what the demands of body building can do to a body, and it’s not always pretty.  The push to be bigger/stronger/more defined can sometimes end up with deadly results.  At the ripe old age of 20, a fellow gym member’s heart literally imploded while he was driving and he ended up crashing his car into a tree.  The drive to be bigger and stronger led him to mess with his diet.  And he was DIABETIC.  Was the vanity factor worth it?  I think I know what his parents, friends, and girlfriend would have said.

cemetary

What men and women consider attractive/sexy/beautiful is as varied as we are.  Skinny, curvy, thick, heavy, athletic, lean-muscled, big-muscled – there’s no lack of opinions as to what constitutes hot.  As humans, and very visual creatures, it’s hard to deny how much “good-looking” plays into our daily lives.  We’re constantly bombarded with pictures of thin, tall, leggy supermodels.  We see how men react when they see them.  And then they wonder why we’re constantly dieting, hitting the gym, running, counting calories, and always pushing to find that elusive size 0.  It’s no wonder when all we see and hear is “be thinner”, “look better”, “you TOO can be mistaken for a model!  Just take this pill! Only $39.95!”

I live in the land of high school girls getting plastic surgery so they can win the coveted prom queen title.  However, as we do spend more of our time wearing shorts and tank tops than the rest of the country, we also work hard at staying fit and eating right.  I can happily say that over the past 19 years I’ve lived here,  I’ve seen the attitudes change among many young women, and they are starting to take on a more active life.  For the most part, it’s no longer about who’s the thinnest, but who’s the fastest and the strongest.  Girls around here are looking less likes twigs and more like healthy, athletic women.  So perhaps attitudes are changing for the better.  Finally.

We kick dupa!

We kick dupa!

So the next time you find yourself having a bad body day, and feel like you’re never going to get any where, stop and take a moment.  Watch Jennifer Garner brag about her baby bump.  Look at the race PR you earned.  Check out the amazing types of people who show up at a runDisney event who cover every type of physical build and ability you can imagine.  Be thankful that your body can DO what you ask it to do, no matter what it looks like doing it.  Because I guarantee, there’s someone watching who thinks you look just like this.

You ARE hot.  You.  Yes YOU.

You ARE hot. You. Yes YOU!

 Enjoy the ride.

We’re all victims of bad body days.  How do you get past them?  Are you able to see how hot you really are?  What do you consider “attractive?”

Are You Ready For Some Football?!?

Thought I was rabid about World Cup Soccer?  Honeys, you ain’t seen NUTTIN’ yet!

Giants

Black Dog will return to regularly scheduled blogging after she finishes screaming at inanimate electronic media devices, pulling the limbs off NY Giants frustration dolls, and cursing enough to be mistaken for a rap star.  Trust me, it’s not pretty.

 

Enjoy the ride.

Could you be considered a rabid sports fan? For which team(s)?  Do you curse enough during major sporting events to make a sailor blush?  What’s your most creative curse?  No censoring here – let’s have it!

It’s Only Weird If It Doesn’t Work

Okay, show of hands.  Who’s seen this one?

weird

Yes. Yes it is.

Admit it.  We all have weird crap we do in a cosmic, karmic effort to help our teams win.  In this house we have a multitude of practices, including, but limited to:

-chewing on pendants

-turning visors backwards and upside down

-clutching pillows

-throwing away said pillow if it doesn’t work

-rubbing challenge coins

-chewing on said challenge coins

-hugging legs to chest

-shaking the crap out of favorite team’s doll with removable limbs

-tossing said doll at television if team throws an interception

-holding hands so tight digital damage is incurred (may or may not result in trip to ER. AFTER game is over.)

-rubbing nose 3 times, pulling twice on right earlobe, grasping left ankle and hopping 5 times in a counter-clockwise circle while chanting in Swahili

Swahili_Dancers

“Mama-ko, mama-sa, ma-ka-ma-ko-ssa.”

What is it about our love for sports that turns us into rabid, hot-tempered, no-holds-barred, I’m-gonna-kick-your-ass-all-the-way-back-Philly maniacs?  I place complete blame for my sports insanity on older brothers and a husband who’s just as much of a sports freak as I am.  Even if part of his loyalty is COMPLETELY misplaced.

To each his own.  Even if his own is, well, you know.  THAT.

To each his own. Even if his own is, well, you know. THEM.

Growing up in a properly sports educated environment-

Wicked awesome!

Wicked awesome!

and

Bad. Ass.

Bad. Ass.

I was taught at an early age to respect people’s team choices. (Except, of course, when it comes to baseball and football).  However, I also learned the fine art of a properly timed zinger, how to properly deliver said properly timed zinger, and when, in the spirit of sportsmanship, to walk away from what could end up being an inconveniently timed trip to above mentioned emergency department, (i.e., NEVER before halfway through the fourth quarter, the bottom of the ninth, the last 2 minutes of the third period, or if it’s the Heat, and it’s the playoffs, before the last second of the last overtime).

Jesus Shuttlesworth in the clutch.

Jesus Shuttlesworth in the clutch.

That’s not to say I’m very good at the timing, but once in a while – okay a REALLY great while – I am SPOT ON with my digs.  And I ROCK IT.

I love good-natured ribbing, and as a faithful Red Sox fan since the time Mom popped me out into the world, I’ve been on the receiving end of it PLENTY of times.  And it’s all good, especially when it’s all done in fun.  But we’ve probably all seen when schmucks – usually drunk schmucks – take it too far.

Putz times two.

Putz. Times two.

It’s all well and good to be a rabid supporter of your favorite team(s).  Just remember – in the end, it’s all just a game.  The outcome won’t affect the world on its axis, won’t change where the sun rises and sets, and probably will be forgotten a year later.  Unless it’s the Red Sox breaking that goddamn curse and winning the World Series.  That will NEVER be forgotten.

Restrain yourself Kellie.

Restrain yourself Kellie.

Enjoy the ride.

Would you consider yourself to be a rabid sports fan?  Have you ever gotten into a pissing contest with a rival fan?  Who won?  Did it include a trip to the emergency room?

And The Show Must Go On

All of us here at Black Dog Runs Disney – human and canine – would like to extend our sincerest congratulations to Germany for their HUGE win over Argentina for the title of 2014 FIFA World Cup Champions!

Hey Ma!  Look what I got!

Hey Ma! Look what I got!

My conundrum now – NOW what am I supposed to watch???  Oh yeah, hot guys in tight shorts with great legs!  Who’s with me?!

Hi there!

Hi there!

Enjoy the ride.

Who were you rooting for on Sunday?  Do you follow the Tour de France?  Do you appreciate guys with great legs?

My Favorite Things – All In One Book!

Ever find that ONE PERFECT BOOK?  You know the one.  It’s got everything you ever needed all in one title, hidden away in its perfect little pages?  Well, let me tell ya…since summer and reading seem to go together like me and Little Black Dog, or me and Moose Tracks ice cream, or me and…well…um…me and Little Black Dog eating Moose Tracks ice cream, then you know how well summer and reading go together!  That IS where I was heading with this wasn’t it???

Anywho, the point of all this is I want to let you in on a little runner’s secret.  If you’re looking for any info – and I mean ANY info all things related to running at Disney, then you need look no further than here.  Right here.  Really.  RIGHT HERE.

Yeah momma!

Yeah momma!

Authors Krista Albrecht and Megan Biller have taken the time to lead you down the happy, happy path of all you ever needed to know about running a Disney race.  They break down every – and I mean EVERY – aspect of running in the world of the Mouse.  Yes – THAT Mouse!

Mickey_Mouse

From what events are available to how to handle a case of the post-race blues, everything you need to know is conveniently listed and oh-so-easy to find.  And the giant chocolate chip on top?  Both Krista and Megan know what they’re talking about as they’ve run the events themselves!  Not with Ryan though.  I think.  Maybe.

And a copy of The Runners Guide to Walt Disney World!

And a copy of The Runners Guide to Walt Disney World!

Magical Miles-The Runner’s Guide to Walt Disney World has been updated for the 2014 Disney racing season, and you can find all the dates, location of start/finish lines, and available races for each race weekend in easy to follow chapters.  A listing of last year’s host hotels are included as well, (the 2014 host hotels weren’t available when the book went to print).

As there are so many aspects of a race weekend at Walt Disney World, you’re going to need to think about everything from which race will work best for you and your family to what kind of trip do you want to have.  Do you want to just come for the race(s) or make it part of a vacation?  Where do you want to eat?  Do you have dietary restrictions?  Magical Miles has the answers to all these questions and more.

Need some prerace training advice?  Links to Jeff Galloway and Tara Gidus are provided as well as a listing of available resources from a few peeps you might have heard about.  You know  – Bart, Meb, Dean.  Yeah, THOSE guys.

Meb

Run Disney? Aw HECK yeah!!

I don’t want to give too much away about this piece of total awesome-ness, but what I WILL tell you is run and get the book.  (See what I did there? hehehe) You’ll LOVE it!  Promise.  Seriously.  Almost as much as I love a certain Little Black Dog and Moose Tracks.  Almost.

 

Enjoy the ride.

Have you checked out Magical Miles-The Runner’s Guide to Walt Disney World?  Did you find it helpful when planning your Disney racecation?