You Do You – The Kid/No Kid Version

Ahhhhhhh, life stuff.  That invisible line all bloggers face when trying to decide how much of their personal crap they want to divulge in their writing.  Being the strong-minded, opinionated, occasionally quite vocally opinionated female that I am – or as Grouper likes to call me “concrete-headed” – I try to keep my opinions somewhat under control here in my little corner of the world.  We are all well aware of how much we seem to be living in the Land of Negativity and the Easily Offended these days, so I try to keep things light-hearted and humorous here.  Besides who can’t crack a smile over this silliness?



All that being said, take it as a warning that I’m going to touch on a subject that many find not only offensive, but get truly puzzled over, and at times, outright angry and demeaning in their wonderfully judgmental ways that so many human beings have.

I have not, nor have I ever wanted to, have kids.

There.  I said it.

I’d love to see everyone’s faces right now to see the emotions written all over them.  And believe me, I have seen – and been subjected to – ALL of them.

Let me start by saying I have no problem with people who make what is supposed to be a very personal decision one way or the other.  You do you and I’ll do me.  I completely respect how you choose to live your life and I simply ask the same from you.  But holy dogpoop Batman – it never ceases to amaze me how:

  1. People find it completely acceptable to ask – “so when are you going to have kids?”  I’ve always wanted to respond with “would you like to also know how often and in what positions we plan on making said kids”?  Personal is personal people and it is not alright in my book to get so personal, especially when you barely know the person you’re speaking to.
  2. People make their kid/no kid decisions for their own reasons.  Those decisions are for no one to judge, comment on, or my personal fave, try to change their mind about.  Again, you do you.  That right there in my opinion, earns you all the respect in the world.
  3. Everyone has their opinions on the subject.  Everyone.  AND THAT IS PERFECTLY OK.  You now what else is perfectly ok?  Not voicing said opinion unless asked for it.  Being the type that often likes to keep things close to the vest, and having no desire back in the day to discuss said subject with hardly anyone, I was always amazed, and yes, at times pretty freaking shocked, how someone would literally go off on a rant about how –  a) I was the most selfish person they had ever met, b) I didn’t know what I was missing and would regret my choice one day, 3) who did I expect to take care of me someday, (uh, me perhaps?), and my personal favorite, 4) why bother getting married then?

   I’m sorry. What??

At this point I’m pretty sure you’ve either exited this blog in disgust, screamed at whatever device you’re reading this on, or thrown a high five in my general direction.  And you know what?  Those reactions are all totally okay with me.  Why?

Because you do you.

One thing I do have to mention here.  Whether or not people choose to have kids, both sides have to understand one basic concept.  Whatever your choice is, it’s just that – YOUR choice.  It’s nobody else’s business why you made that decision, nor is it anyone else’s place to judge that decision.  If someone chooses to not have them, it does not mean they are missing out on anything.  All it means is their life is different.  For what it’s worth, I LOVE my life and I don’t feel like I’ve missed out on anything.  I wake up every damn day thankful for the people I have in my life, the life I am living, how I’m living that life, and I wouldn’t change a damn thing about it

That’s me doing me by the way.

I know plenty of parents who feel they would have missed out if the didn’t have kids.  Guess what?  THAT’S OK TOO.

You do you.

One thing I have begun to notice more and more these days?  People are much less likely to ask about something so personal, and, if the conversation does take place and opinions differ, those decisions are much more accepted – and respected – by both sides. (Don’t be mistaken, I think this only applies to such personal subjects.  Everything else?  Well, that just turns into a Twitter free-for-all.) The whole concept of “you do you” seems to actually mean something every so often.  And moments like that?  Well, suffice it to say my faith in humanity is momentarily restored.

And that is all anyone can ask for.


Enjoy the ride.

Do you find people are asking more or less personal questions these days?  What subjects get you fired up?  Do you feel like you need to say something to people who believe the opposite of you on touchy subjects?



4 thoughts on “You Do You – The Kid/No Kid Version

  1. You might occasionally hear something like; “If you don’t have kids now, while you can, you’ll regret it when you’re older”. WRONG! First, that is a pitifully lame excuse to have children. Further, my wife and I are 65 and we’ve been married for 35-years. We have no children by mutual choice and neither one of us has EVER regretted that decision for even 5-minutes – not even once.

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