By now I think it’s safe to say you guys know my brain is somewhat, shall we say…off. I usually start out with good intentions, but then one of those game show dollar machine thoughts in my head starts whipping around at light speed and I am powerless to make it stop.
Said dollars starting whipping around after I read a multitude of very helpful posts about keeping yourself cool when running during the summer months. I myself had planned on throwing in my two cents on the subject as well. Then…BOOM! That dollar just smacked me right up side the head. Hard.
So time for the disclaimer thingie: The following ideas have absolutely no scientific basis behind them. They are products of my brain cells and my brain cells ONLY. I definitely do NOT recommend them, but if you so choose to do so , then it’s all on YOU. And your insurance company. Not mine. It sucks anyway. You wouldn’t get a thing. But I will send you a carton of Moose Tracks. Just because.
1. Hydration:The popular opinion on being properly hydrated is to make sure you drink plenty of fluids both prior to and during your run. I absolutely agree. With one small difference. Since many runners also suffer from a loss of salt during their runs, resulting in those lovely white stains on your hats and bandannas, and evidenced by excessive canine licking of said runners limbs, might I suggest a margarita? Preferably with a well-salted rim. Carbs? Check. Thank you sugar-laden margarita mix. Sodium? Check. Thank you big, chunky margarita salt. Fluid? Well, duh. It IS something you drink after all…
2. Run early in the morning: Anyone who knows this Black Dog, knows I am your classic morning hater who’s pretty much useless much before 10am. That being said, if you follow the above listed hydration suggestion, it’s a good possibility that come 2-3am, you’re still up. So getting in an EXTRA early morning run will be easily accomplished. You’ll actually be getting double running duty in as you can even count it as a run from the previous night AND an early morning run for the following day! Follow my logic here? Don’t worry if you don’t – you’re hardly alone. The only downfall is if you’ve been diligently hydrating, you may find both direction and balance a bit challenging. BUT, on the bright side, you probably won’t feel any pain should you stumble into any suddenly appearing light poles that – like you said – really WEREN’T there the night before.
3. Wear light-colored, lightweight clothing: Great idea! Maybe. Depends on whether or not said meeting with aforementioned light pole results in capillary injury. In other words, how easily will the blood wash out? You may want to make sure you have a ready supply of Shout or other stain removing items on hand. Or just buy dark colors. Red perhaps.
4. Show some skin: Well. Hmmmmm. This can be a double-edged sword. The last thing you want to see, (and the last thing I want to show), is more skin. Now, I’m a firm believer in if you got it, flaunt it. ‘Cause you ain’t gonna have it very long. But trust me – this Black Dog is NOT going to be the one responsible for anyone’s nightmares. Unless you’re an ex-boyfriend. Then look all you want. Payback’s a you-know-what.
5. Slow your roll: Unless, like me, you’re already running somewhere between a turtle and slug pace. Slow down any more and someone may think you’re in a catatonic state on the side of the road. Unless you’re said slug sliming your way through peanut butter. I’m thinking that’s pretty damn slow.
So that’s the Black Dog’s take on what you can do to make your hot, sweaty, feel-like-you’re-in-the-crater-of-a-volcano summer runs more enjoyable. I’m not guaranteeing they’re going to work, just thought it was important for me to offer some alternative options. Let me know if any of them work for you. Or if I need to get you some Moose Tracks.
Enjoy the ride.
Do you have any other ideas for cool runnings?