Here we are facing another Monday way to soon, and the brain is still in a fog from the weekend. Have no fear, as I’m about to slam the gears into overdrive and get your week started in an entertaining fashion. So you better hang on, the dollars are revving up!
Groupon minions apparently slept through history class: In a press release issued by Groupon last Friday, the daily deal company stated they were honoring President Alexander Hamilton by taking $10 off any $40 purchase. Alexander never served as president, but as the first Secretary of the Treasury. Had this press release been issued on a Monday, I could have completely understood.
Bob Costas cuts career as a pirate short: The entertaning, yet germ-infested Olympic host is rumored to be returning to his broadcasting throne in Sochi this evening. Rumor has it all attempts at voicing a properly intimidating “Aye matey”, resulted in the rest of the crew falling overboard from laughter.
Jimmy Fallon afraid head not large enough for the Tonight Show: Anonymous sources (okay, not really, I just made that up), state they’re afraid no one will be able to see the new host as he takes over the reigns of the Tonight Show, due to his significantly diminished cranial dimensions. Discussion among the camera guys has centered on the inability to zoom in as the lenses have been stuck in the same position since Leno and his notoriusly large melon occupied the popular night time desk.
5th Olympic Snowflake Ring refuses to open in protest to curling as an Olympic Event: While the world watched in amusement as the Russian concept of the Olympic Rings failed to properly display, a behind the scenes conversation revealed the true reason for the mishap. Snowflake #5 was heard to say as the display tracked out into the center of the arena, “The sweeping must stop! Snowflakes and ice have just as much right to participate in these games as anybody else!”
Happy Monday everyone!
Enjoy the ride.
How do you get your motor revving on a Monday morning?